Ritsukas SuicideAtempt?
by Kazumi Dynamite
Summary: Ritsuka Can't take his mothers abuse anymore what does he do? Read to fine out! does soubi come and help out? rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

_I'm in my room sitting down on my bed. My lip I think she might have busted it my arms, back and, head are pounding from pain. Mother had another 'episode' I came late from Soubi's house I can't blame her for this..can I? No it was my fault I should have paid more attention to the time. I feel so sad. I just want to die. Mother why do you do this to me...? I know I did something wrong...but do I deserve this kind of punishment..? I shake my head Don't cry! I tell myself I'm thirteen! Thirteen year olds don't cry! I pull up my sleeve revealing the scars of the past. Two years...I've been punishing my body for two years. I reach in my drawer pulling out my razor. I start slicing threw my skin and flesh as I see the blood start to ooze out. How deep can I go before I bleed to death..? I ask myself. I feel my hand go straight to the old marks right where my hand meets my lower arm. What I'm I doing now..? I feel like I can't control my hand anymore, It has a mind of its own. I press hard on my wrist slicing threw the flesh while I press harder as I slice along my wrist to the end. The blood it pours out with no sign of stopping. I can feel my unwanted tears flowing down my cheeks now. W-what did I do..? I Ask myself silently. As I watch the blood start oozing out with no control. I feel dizzy. I can feel myself starting to fall to the side of my bed. I can feel the blood start to soak in my sheets. No...No! I don't want to die! I try getting up my body feels heavy as if some body was pushing me back down towards the bed. I feel my head spinning as I try to raise myself off the bed. I manage to as I feel....no I cant feel my hand its lost all feeling I Can't feel the blood running down it. This is bad I don't want to die..Soubi.. Soubi please help me! I cry in my mind I know he can hear me we are Sacrifice and Fighter he said I could call him anytime and he would come...Please hurry! I stagger forward Towards the other side of the room feeling my feet heavy As I use my Clean hand to reach for my Cell phone. I feel like I'm falling..wait I am. I fall down with my hand raised up above me from the floor as my other hand releases the rest of my blood. I lay there as I Feel my vision start to blur...it feels like I'm surrounded by black smoke. It's getting harder to breath. I lay there for a few minutes as I feel coldness surround my body. I lay on my side as I see my blood on my wrist. My Sleeve was rolled down it was filled with my blood. I close my eyes for a sec. As I smell the scent of my metal scented blood. I hear banging it sounds muffled. Who is it..? I hear a loud bang louder then the other ones but it's still muffled I open my eyes slightly as I feel my body being moved. I'm staring up at the ceiling now there's someone here. The person smells like cigars. Soubi..? I try to whisper out. But my voice is gone. I can see him clearly now as my vision focuses on the person that truly did love me. So it was true what he said he would always come. I try to move my hand to touch his soft cheek but its so heavy I can't move it. I finally realize I'm laying on his lap as his arm supports me up to his chest in a hug. I Can see him crying. I've never seen him cry before. He was dialing numbers on his cell as he waited for the other line to pick up he looked down at me saying words I couldn't hear I looked at his tender lips remembering how he always kissed me with them. He's screaming now to the person on the other line. It's the ambulance..his trying to save me. I close my eyes tightly as more tears flow out. I'm sorry Soubi...I'm Sorry I try to say. I must have succeeded because Soubi responded by pressing his fingers on my busted lip whispering something..."Don't Talk it's not your fault...I Love You Ritsuka.."....Those words I heard them clearly..Does this mean I'm going to live...? I feel the blackness come back as my vision darkens I Can feel something soft and familiar press against my cold lips. Its Soubi kissing me...I hope it's not the last time_

_**The End**_

_**Sorry for the sucky ending but i got bored . anywaaaaays...well I know that people get lazy (like Mua) and don't want to write a review and all but if you can write one pwease!!! I'll Ask for...7! and spaming is allowed but only twice per person! if you spam it will count For Your Info! I already have the other part writen its gonna be like....twoooo-threeeee...Chapters long its gonna be only drama and smoochy or whatever you call it and the last part is were the smex is so yea....**_


	2. Chapter 2

_ I Woke up feeling a bit dizzy and heavy like if something was pushing me down. I'm I dead...? I opened my eyes feeling them hard to open as I felt a white light hit them a winced at the brightness. As my eyes got used to the light I realized that I was in a white room. The light that was hitting my eyes so brightly was the ceiling light and the sun light coming in from a closed window with the blinds pulled aside, not the light people said you see when you die. As I sat up I felt a shot of pain run threw my wrist I winced from the pain. I lifted my wrist up and rubbed it lightly to subside the pain. I heard rustling next to me as I turned I noticed the person that always cared for me...Soubi.I couldn't help but smile at him. As I saw him sleeping in the visitors chair. A brown comfortable looking chair that looked like it was a mix of a rocking chair and a sofa. He was using his purplish colored knee length jacket as a cover pulled up to his chest._

_ He looked very peaceful. I stood up to go wake him. I felt a sting were my upper arm and lower arm connect. Then a splashing sound on the other side following the sound of something metal hitting the floor. I turned quickly to see what had happened. I noticed blood on the floor and the thing that had caused the sting of pain. I was having a blood transplant. As I noticed this Soubi had already Woken up and left to search for a nurse, Before I knew it a nurse was setting me back on the bed and telling me that I should be more careful. She asked me if I was feeling well and I was. So she felt it was alright for her to take the needle out. As she did a winced at how roughly and quickly she took it out. Soubi saw my reaction and went over and put his hand over mine soothingly rubbing it with his thumb. As If apologizing for letting the nurse do it so roughly the nurse had put a bandage on my arm, cleaned the blood off the floor and left closing the door behind her. When the nurse left Soubi sat down next to me and Surprised me as he lifted my head up by my chin and kissed me lightly on the lips. _

_"_Ritsuka..."

_He said softly to me looking at me seriously and it looked as if he were angry. He looked into my eyes as if he were searching for an answer to a question he wanted to ask but was to afraid to. _

_"...._Don't..Please Don't ever do that again you scared me I thought I was going to lose you forever..."

_He looked down at my bandaged wrist and lifted it, he lightly moved it towards his lips kissing the bandage were the fresh scar and the old past was. He kissed it lightly with his eyes closed. I felt pain in my heart as I saw him do this. I silently started crying in front of him. He hadn't noticed until I started sobbing lightly. He pulled me into his chest holding me tightly, as if assuring me that it was okay to cry. I gripped his shirt roughly trying to pull him closer and to make sure that he was really there. It was like he knew what I was thinking when he kissed my head softly and soothingly rubbed my back. He whispered lightly _

_"_Ritsuka I'm Here...It's Okay I'm here..."

_We stayed like that for several minutes. When I calmed down he smiled to make me feel better as he wiped the tears off my face with his fingers. I smiled back at him to assure him that I was fine now. For some reason he looked up to my ears and tugged on one of them teasingly. He smirked and winked telling me about what he would do when I got better._

" Ritsuka when you get better I know what I'm going to do first."

_I blushed as I pulled his hand away turning my head._

_ "_I don't think that's going to help."

_He moved my head to face him again by my cheek with a smile on his face. _

"Yes it will...Its going to show you how much I care for you"

_Before I could say anything the Doctor came in and told me it was okay for me to go back home. I felt a shot of fear and sadness when I heard the word home...was I really going to be allowed to go back home with my mother..? I think Soubi Knew how I was feeling as he told the doctor Thank you and that we were leaving today. As the doctor left Soubi turned to me and petted my head he told me that I wasn't aware but I was unconscious for a few days and many things changed while I was asleep. He told me that he had custody over me very quickly. It was confusing I asked him how he did it so fast. He told me that the social service investigators found a lot of dangerous personalities in my mom that they gave him full custody instantly since he was like a family member to me. I felt happy for that news yet sad for leaving her, He assured me she was fine. I know Soubi isn't really that honest in something's but he knows how much I care for my mother that he wouldn't lie to me. Soubi stood up to get a bag that was behind the chair were he was sleeping he told me it was some clothes that he brought for me to wear when I was allowed to get out of the hospital. As I slide my legs to the side of the bed ready to stand up Soubi stopped me telling me that He would change me. I Blushed since I've never been naked in front of someone since I was old enough to bath and change myself, or since Seimei died. He slide off the white thin hospital pants easily and quickly that I didn't have time to disagree. As he searched in the bag for my pants my face had turned red from embarrassment I pulled the hospital shirt lower to hid my boxers from view. Soubi chuckled lowly as I did. He had found the clothing, he knelt down in front of me as he started to slide the pants on my legs as he went higher my face felt hotter from embarrassment. He pulled them up to my hips and stayed still as he moved his hands towards the front of the pants to zip and bottom them. I couldn't hold a whimper when he got closer to my crotch area I hoped he hadn't noticed my 'problem' while he finished up. As he finished he had his lips close to my ear he chuckled as his hands lingered in front of my pants which felt tighter then they were in the beginning. I gasped when he cupped my hardness pressing on it some. _

" I see your...needy.."

_He whispered I shivered as I felt his hot breath on my ear. He stepped back pulling his hand away from my aching member and lifted my shirt as if nothing happened. As He finished dressing me a nurse came in while he was knelt down tying my shoes. She told me to follow her to have a short physical exam to make sure I was good to go. As I followed her to another room Soubi stayed behind to wait for me. He didn't want me to get 'inpatient' as he called it. I couldn't help but blush. We passed by some other nurses who happened to be talking about a 'tall, long haired man who was taking care of a young 13 year old.' They talked about him dreamily and how he never left my side. I smiled knowing this. They were definitely talking about...My Soubi.._

**Wow What a long one Review! Same rules as last...or no ehhh Idk Im bored .**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hasn't it been over a year since I upgraded this story? Sorry for the wait I haven't had much of a "all to well childhood" moment. With the moving and stuff. Hopefully I will be able to upload a new chapter soon, for right now I'll try to give you a small yet fluffy moment of Ritsuka and Soubi, since I'm at the public library. This might be a crappy chapter since I haven't written in a few months.**

_The physical exam was horrible I had to answer a few questions of how I was feeling physically and emotionally. To make sure I wasn't a danger to myself while I was away from the hospital. I had told them I was fine just a moment of temporary insanity. I insured them that I was just very upset with what had happened between my mother and me but I am very well now, knowing that I would be taken care of by my new guardian._

_The exam didn't last long since Soubi wanted me to get home quickly to rest. Now here I am in Soubi's small yet comfortable apartment laying down against his leather couch watching some television while Soubi made dinner._

_I had tried avoiding any physical contact with him since we arrived to his home, replaying his words as to helping me 'get better' but he did say he would not touch me till I am fully well, hopefully this would be around when I'm 18, because even though I do feel my heart tug for him, I don't think I can please him in this small, to skinny, and scar covered body. I sighed softly as I looked down at my petite frame. _

_As I relaxed more deeply in the couch watching the television lazily, not much to watch though so I just randomly flipped the channels till something caught my eye, I wasn't really paying much attention to the story playing out before my eyes but the soft humming of the tune Soubi had been making since he started with dinner._

_I liked it, the sound of the dull vibration of his hum. Relaxing me as it softly lulled me to a state of utter bliss and the briskness of sleep. My eyes fluttered shut as the darkness of sleep tried to claim me. The tune stopped abruptly causing me to groan lightly, before feeling a light touch against my cheek. I smiled knowing well that he came to check on me._

_The touch softly traveled down my cheek to my lips softly gliding below my lower lip. I'm guessing he thinks I'm asleep, as I feel the heat of a blush bath my cheeks. The fingers that had grazed my lips moved lower touching the side of my neck before moving to the revealed flesh of my collarbone. I could feel a warm breath of air against my lips before it was replaced by softness. I moaned lightly as the softness, of which I recalled to be Soubi's lips, opened as his tongue lightly slipped between my now opening lips._

**Sorry, that's all I can do with the limited time I have here, so much to express but it takes me a while to put them down on paper..or text. Hopefully I will be able to update soon, this series and then 'Gun shots.'**


	4. Chapter 4

Discontinued Sorry Guys.


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